


Hear My Words

by YeahMeRule



Series: JuZen oneshots [1]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, Goodbyes, Love Confessions, M/M, Pain, Speeches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-31 01:23:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8557195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YeahMeRule/pseuds/YeahMeRule
Summary: Saying goodbye is never easy, and especially not like this.The RFA members take turns on saying goodbye to a certain member and as the last one comes up, they are all surprised to hear his pained confession.





	

“So… Hey, Trust Fund Kid…”

Seven was the first to break the tense silence that echoed between them. The wind blew softly around them, cold, merciless. It was a quiet afternoon and the grey clouds hung heavily above their heads as it rained. Everyone else had already left, leaving only the RFA behind to say their last words. Seeing the usually happy, playful group so heavily weighed down by sorrow was odd. After a while, Seven spoke up once more. In the cold rain, his words were oddly warm.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say…” he continued awkwardly and despite it all, cracked a weak smile. “It’s kinda weird, y’know ‘cuz I usually know what to say even to you… But now—… Man—… It’s unfair…”

Again he fell into silence, and only gathered the strength to speak as Yoosung placed his hand so carefully on his shoulder. Weakly, he took a deep breath as to continue, but kept the silence. Standing there for a moment with his mouth closed to a thin line, he got the strength to speak once more.

“Thank you, though… For standing up for the RFA even when we don’t even deserve it… And for standing out with me even though I know that you dislike order…” he added and bent down to place his hand on the cold rock. Feeling the smooth surface against his fingers made it all too clear what had happened, and a silent tear rolled down his pale cheek. It hurt to see his close friends cry.

Without being able to say much more, Seven stepped back. Just listening to the rain, they all stood, waiting for the next to step up. Neither one of them had held a speech during the ceremony as they were too shocked and they didn’t have to since it had been decided that it would be a small one. The only ones whom had been present had been the RFA, and the rest of the Han family. It had been awkward in a way to stand next to people whom some of them had never met, but no one could think much of that fact. Instead, their hearts kept aching.

The next to step up was Yoosung whose eyes were red after the tears that had already fallen, and his cheeks puffy. Amongst the members, his sorrow was the clearest for his breaths were still shivery, his lips quivering with restraint as he tried so hard to stop crying just for a little while. He was not surprised to see this reaction, yet it still ached within him to see Yoosung like that.

“I—… I can’t…” Yoosung whimpered and with Seven silently crying in the back, he was alone to handle his pain. Now he was unable to keep the tears back anymore, and they started to fall. Fresh tears now mixed with the rain as they rolled so weakly down his cheeks, his breaths now soft, silent sobs.

“Jumin…” he managed to say after a while, and his hands shivered violently as he was the one to touch the cold stone. “Even—… Even though you were so cold—… You cared—… You really did! I’m so sorry that I saw it way too late… Thank you so much for all you did… I’m just—… I’m so sorry for being so—…”

A louder sob broke out from his throat and interrupted him from continuing. This time Seven had calmed down enough to return, and to gently wrap his arms around the young man. With the soft hug, Yoosung broke down once again, his whimpers loud in the tense air. His breakdown marked the end of his speech as the two youngest members of the RFA stepped back. How painful it was to see two bright males so broken, so sad.

Before he could watch them any further, Jaehee surprised him. After all he had done to her, she now wore a dark, sorrowful expression that concerned him deeply. Her eyes were shining wet with tears similar to both Yoosung and Seven as she breathed slowly, almost calmly. Compared to the other two she seemed to be more collected, almost sober in the way she stood before them. Despite her strength, one could easily see the dark rings beneath her eyes that told of hours of heavy work. There was no way she had gotten enough sleep for days judging by the sorrow that hid so well in the exhaustion.

With a soft frown on her forehead, she seemed to brace herself before she spoke. “You were a harsh employer…” was the first thing she said in a voice shivering so weakly, “You pressed me without considering my life… I have regretted so many times that I signed the contract… That I never started to work… for you… But—… But at the same time—… Without you, I would never have learnt what true effort means… I would never have realised my dreams and never fought so hard to reach them… Therefore I, too, am sorry… I’m sorry for not appreciating your work enough, and the work you gave me… I hope that I was a good employee despite how you liked to complain on me… I wish—… I wish you were here to hear this… So that you could answer something narcissistic which would make anyone angry… I wish—… I’m sorry Mr Han… Jumin… I should never have—…”

Quickly Jaehee shut her own mouth to keep away herself from crying. There were no doubts that she carried a deep guilt in her heart even though the fault did not lay on her. Never could he have guessed that she would react like that. That she would be standing there so close to tears. Yet, there she was and without being able to say anything else, she stepped back.  
Alone stood Zen in front of the white, smooth stone and the fresh earth before it. During the other’ last words, he had stood on the side without a change in his empty expression. He looked as blank as a paper, and as equally pale.  
That was until the last words were echoed into another tense silence. Suddenly, small changes could be seen on his handsome face as those beautifully red eyes were fixated on the brown, fresh earth. At first the brows furrowed into a deep frown, then his shoulders began to shiver barely noticeable. The other members watched him worriedly as they were both curious and concerned to what kind of reaction he would show. After all, Zen had always hated Jumin. That was what he kept stating every time they met as they fought, bickered, or simply ignored one another.

“W—why…?” The voice that spoke was not more than a weak whisper, not louder than the cold wind that blew around them. Hearing the voice made an even harsher sting on pain strike him only to remind him of everything he could have had. Everything hurt, and the pain only grew.

What neither Yoosung, Seven nor even Jaehee knew was that Zen and Jumin had grown closer in their own way. After being forced to work together, they had had no other choice but to learn to accept each other, and more than that, to respect each other. During these months, Zen had seemed to learn to accept him, and he had even started to enjoy his company. Perhaps, that was why he had been so desperate that one fateful day. It had been a new kind of desperation he had never experienced before, a new violent desire that made him do something which cost him everything.

“Jumin… You fucking douchebag!—“ Zen’s rough voice made everyone twitch in surprise, and now one could notice the tears that made those red eyes shine. From showing nothing, the handsome man was now showing everything. His whole body was shivering, his mouth a thin line, but more than that his eyes showed the great shock he felt over his own violent reaction. But despite how embarrassing it was to be standing there, not even the actor could hold himself back anymore. All the guilt he had kept within him overflowed.

“How the fuck dare you?!” he almost screamed and the tense air vibrated around them. Dumbfounded the RFA could do nothing but listen to Zen’s painful reveal. “I fucking hate you so much! I hate you for being an arrogant rich asshole that thinks that money solves everything! I hate that you treat your fucking cat as if she’s human! And—And I hate you more than anything for being so handsome and for stealing my heart as if I’m in a cheesy ass romance movie!”

As the last words rung out, a small gasp escaped Jaehee. Quickly she moved a hand to her mouth, covering it to prevent more noises from escaping her. No one had expected this, yet Zen could not see their shocked expressions. Instead his hands were gripping his long, white hair, tearing on it to keep his emotions stable. It didn’t work. Nothing worked.

“You bother me so much because you remind me of people I hate and my damned past! I don’t want to think about that, but seeing you just makes me remember!” his voice grew hoarse as he kept almost shouting until suddenly he lowered it into a mere, weak whimper. His hands lost their hard grip of his hair as they instead hung heavily by his sides. Weighed down by his guilt and sorrow, tears kept rolling down his cheeks. All the strength they usually saw in Zen, the confident man, was gone with the cold wind that blew around them.

“Why did I start working with you…?” The question escaped him in another quiet cry. “Why did I even let myself get to know you? If I hadn’t—… If I had just continued to ignore you—… You would have been okay! I could keep hating you, and you could continue to tease me… I miss your teasing for fuck’s sake! I miss you so much… I want you to smile at me like you did one week ago… I should have taken a picture, but you looked away too fast… I only got to see that smile for a few seconds, and yet I will remember it forever… I will always remember how soft you can look despite what most thinks… Do you even know how beautiful you were right then and there?”

For a moment Zen could say nothing more as he had to pause to take a few deep breaths. Behind him he could not see that everyone had stopped crying as to watch him, see the secrets Zen had kept hidden in his heart for so long. If only these words had been said earlier perhaps none of this would have happened.

“You were on your way to my place that day… You were coming here to tell me something…” Zen’s whole usual strength was gone, and it pained him to see it. How could he have let this happen? “I remember our phone call just before… You sounded so different, so unusually weak…You told me that you had something that you had to tell me as soon as possible… Something that would give me the right to end out cooperation and still get the money if I decided to do that… Were you—…? Do you feel the same? Please tell me!”

Again the voice rose into a shout that was now loud, desperate, and weak. Unable to keep himself up anymore, Zen fell to his knees. The wetness of the grass seeped through his Jeans to wet his already freezing skin, making him feel worse in his absolute loneliness. Desperately he grasped the grass, but found no comfort in the cold. What he needed was not there and would never again be available for him to lean upon ever again.

“Jumin—…” he whimpered and Jumin wished now more than ever that he had never tried to drive. If he had waited just a bit longer, he wouldn’t have gotten into that accident. Instead he could have told Zen what he had intended to say that day. Now it was too late, and he could do nothing but watch Zen cry so heavily on his knees.

“Jumin…” Zen spoke up once more and another sob escaped him. Slowly the other RFA members came up behind him and placed their hands on his shivering back. With that mild support, he could say his last words.

“Jumin… I love you…” Jumin’s whole being ached by those words. “I love you so much… I’m sorry—… It’s my fault that you died! I love you so much and I never—… I could never tell you… I’m so sorry… I can’t accept that you’re—… I will always love you… Even though I was dumb enough to realise this too late, I know for sure that you are the love of my life… There won’t be anyone else for me, but you, Jumin… You’re such a fucking asshole, and I love you despite that, despite how much it embarrasses me! So please… Please—… Don’t do this to me—…”

After that Zen could say nothing more as he broke into tears. This was the first time he had said all this, and Jumin wanted to answer. He wanted to tell Zen that he loved him too, that he wanted a future with him somehow. The future he hoped for was brutally taken away from them by one stupid decision.

“I love you too, Zen…” Jumin spoke and even though he knew that no one could see him, it seemed as if Zen lifted his head for a brief moment. Yet, before anything more could be said, Jaehee and Yoosung helped Zen to his feet. While everyone left, Jumin could not leave his place by his tombstone, and could only wish to have Zen in his arms, holding him tight, feeling his warmth.

“I’m sorry…” he breathed out, but no one could hear the ghost speak.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I hope that didn't suck too bad! This was just a short story I wrote with pen and paper so yeah...  
> Took me decades getting it down on my comp!  
> Anyway, thanks for reading!


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